Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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