Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
