What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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