i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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