do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
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