did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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