Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
