Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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