I need to stop coming to work sober
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
