A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize