god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize
