just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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