so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
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