i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
