the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
