she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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