were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
