hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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