i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
