I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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