You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
