What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
