i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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