Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
either way he was missing a nipple.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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