I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
