the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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