Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
