Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
His nipple licking is glorious
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