i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
