I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
