SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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