so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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