Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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