just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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