Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You know, be my cock's hype man.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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