bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
