....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
