is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
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