Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
