Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize