All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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