pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
