She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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