What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
We have so much sex to catch up on
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
