I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i just had sex bonerless
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
