oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
