I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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