so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
