Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
