Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize