I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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