If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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