If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
