"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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