Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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