if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize