Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
