we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
