3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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