hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
