You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
