I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize