its not stalking. its research.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
