So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
