there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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