I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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