i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
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